I Was/Am Right!

I told my boss the other day that he was right, and I had to make sure to tell him that he was right because men love to hear that kind of thing. He smiled and said, "Men aren't the only ones!"

Ray says he can count on one had the amount of times he was right and I was wrong. Part of that is the fact that we are so alike in our opinions that we rarely have a time when we disagree - at least to the point where the other person is obviously WRONG.

I give the prelude just to explain the title of the post. I have been thinking about my sweet husband lately, and it struck me that I was right about something that I took a stand on before we were married. When we were talking about getting engaged, I told him that I DID NOT want him to buy me a diamond ring. I wasn't that taken with diamonds, and especially not taken enough with them that I'd pay the price for one. I told him I wanted a CTR ring for an engagement ring, as all I truly wanted to wear once we were married was a wedding band. No snagging clothes, no starving while a couple thousand dollars sitting useless on my finger... Well, he did get me a CTR ring, but he also got me an emerald ring that I wear on my other hand when I feel like dressing up.

I had made the decision about not wanting a diamond before I had even met Ray. When I shared my feelings with my sisters, they vehemently tried to convince me that I WANTED a diamond ring. They even went to the extent of taking me ring shopping just to show me how beautiful diamonds are. I agreed that they look nice, but when I'd be just as happy with something less expensive - with the added benefit of not spending the money on something I didn't need!

In an effort to convince me, they brought up the old LDS film, "Johnny Lingo." Remember, they said, about the eight cow wife. You want to be an eight cow wife!!! This is the point that I made then, and this is the point that I realized had truly been proved by my grand husband. If you haven't seen the movie, Johnny Lingo was living in a culture that the man had to pay a dowry to the father of the woman he was going to marry. The women would sit around and say, "I am a five cow wife," and look down on the woman who was a two cow wife.

Johnny Lingo wanted to marry Mahana, so he went to visit her father to bargain for her hand. Her father yells at her, "Mahana, you ugly." Everyone thought of her that way, and they were all impressed with Johnny Lingo for choosing what would obviously be such an inexpensive wife. So, everyone was blown away when Johnny Lingo insisted on paying eight cows to her father for her hand in marriage.

The point I made to my sisters is that Mahana did not immediately become beautiful and self-confident in the instant that the eight cows were given to her father. The movie shows her coming down out of the tree that she was hiding in, and cautiously walked to Johnny Lingo. It is only after she has spent weeks with him, listening to him tell her how beautiful she is, how glad he is to have married her, that he give her the mirror and shows her how beautiful she truly is, and she and the rest of us believe it. It is NOT the cows that made her happy, that is only for the old biddies that cared about it, and his insistence that she was worth it. It was living with his love that changed her.

When my sisters tried to equate diamonds with the eight cows, I wasn't ready to defend my decision, I just knew that they were wrong. I watched the movie again, and that is when I realized why I was still right about diamonds and cows. It matters more the man you choose than the price he pays.

Almost 14 years after my marriage to Ray, I can see how living with a loving man can truly change a woman. After 4 kids, I had put on quite a bit of weight. I wasn't happy with it, but never did I ever worry that Ray would stop loving me, or not find me attractive. Now that I've joined the gym, lost 30 pounds and 3 sizes, he tells me how proud of me he is, and how beautiful I am. I know he is enjoying my new shape, but I never feared the loss of his affection, so I don't resent his continued affection like I might have if it was a renewed affection. He was able to see beyond the outside, and loved me for me. That is worth more than eight cows, or the biggest diamond in the world.

I love you, too, Ray.